Falling in Love

Due to the “object relation theory”, there is an inseparable bind between the mother and infant during the infancy and when it is detached, the infant would go through an awkward experience with a mixture of feelings representing themselves as pain and pleasure. Later on, through the development of language, there will be more meaningful clarifications between these feelings which could be interpreted as hatred, love, depression, aggression, etc. and the child can distinguish them from one another by entering the symbolic order and using the language. Hence, this detachment and entering the symbolic is a crucial stage for the development of the infant’s psyche because it is the moment that reality imposes its presence to the child’s world of phantasy. But what interests me is when we fall in love as grown-ups; It is like we go through this traumatic experience of getting detached from the mother once again with the reintegration of all those mixed feelings which do not let us to decide wisely and logically. In fact, when we fall in love, there is a revision of our feelings to their primary form when there was no separation between the infant and his/her love-object. Yet what is painful is re-experiencing the trauma of separation with a slight difference, that this time the the phantasy imposes its presence on reality…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: